Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
