Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
