Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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