found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
