don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
