I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
