Having a random hookup so left but love u
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
