We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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