I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
