Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
