Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
