Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Enjoy the penises
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
