you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
