I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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