I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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