I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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