Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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