she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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