Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
