well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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