Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
