playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
