im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
