how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
