if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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