Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
