no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
