last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
