I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
