my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
