I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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