I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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