I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
