dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
