I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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