so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
They took my balls.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
