Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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