my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
