The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
