I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
