sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
