You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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