David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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