I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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