I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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