dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Green mimosas i think yes
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
