found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My pussy is not your playground.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
