I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
