once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
