It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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